I stood in the kitchen today, marveling at the ability to be on my feet. I've had so much of this since my fourth nerve block last week! I love baking, and I can't begin to tell you how thankful I am for the chance to stand long enough do it. It's a glorious thing to lose something and then have it returned to you. As I mixed the ingredients for soy-free-dairy-free blueberry muffins for a sweet little one with allergies, my mind wandered elsewhere.
It was the week leading up to the Fourth of July. I was eight or nine years old, but it could have been yesterday.
I sat on the edge of my seat in church as a woman shared the story of how her car had been stolen. Her purse was inside. Helpless and afraid, she prayed to God that He would bring back what had been taken from her. Shortly afterwards, she received a phone call from the police. Her car had been found, unharmed, on the side of the road, with the keys and all of her belongings (including her purse and its contents) sitting on the passenger seat. It was nothing short of a miracle. I was amazed at what God had done.
A few days later, my older sister and I took a walk to a nearby store, excited to spend some of our savings on sparklers for the upcoming holiday. I was particularly thrilled when it turned out that I had enough money for a few extra-large sparklers--the ribbon-wrapped kind that burned in colors. Then, we made the little up-hill trek back home with our spoils and ran through the door of our house, eager to show Mom what we had purchased.
As I opened my bag, my heart sank. The small sparklers were there, but the large ones were gone. They must have fallen out of the bag on the way home. Mom took us back out right away and she drove us up and down the hill, looking for what I had lost. My sparklers were nowhere to be found.
I sat on my bed, disappointed, and then I remembered the woman's story about praying for God to bring her car back. Surely, God knew where my sparklers were. So, I prayed, and I asked Jesus to bring them back to me.
"Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight," (Hebrews 4:13).
Later in the afternoon, a woman came to our door. There, she stood, holding my lost sparkers in her hands. "I found these, and I thought they might belong to you," she said, simply. I stood, in awe of my God. It's been decades, and I am still in awe of the way that He shows me that He hears me and that He cares for me so deeply. It was something so trivial. Sparklers for the Fourth of July. And the God of the Universe cared.
Many things have slipped through my fingers over the years. I've known deep darkness and I've grieved great loss. It doesn't mean that God has cared less in those times or that, in those cases, He somehow didn't hear me when I prayed. He is always with me, He is always good, He always knows exactly what I need, and He always sees the bigger picture. In the story of Job, in the Bible, when he lost everything, he knew that it didn't change who God was. This was his response: "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised," (Job 1:21b).
When I think back on the beginning of my journey--walking through life with Jesus--the sparklers story always stands out. It's not because I got what I asked for. Yes, that was glorious. God did a really incredible thing that day. More than anything, though, He showed me that He hears me. That He is so close to me. That He cares, even about the details. That life with Him is full of hope, no matter what is happening, because knowing Him is hope.
"Taste and see that the Lord is good..." (Psalm 34:8 NIV).
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