Monday, February 23, 2015

How Living in Fear Robs Us of Life (Part 3 of 3)

(Part 3 of 3)

Where Are My Eyes?

There are truly frightening things in the world, but I’ve learned that where I look has a tremendous impact on the way that I feel about them.    

If my focus is on my situation, or on what is difficult, or on things that are outside of my control, I can get anxious and depressed and just want to give up.  If I let my thoughts be drawn toward what-if’s and ugly scenarios, the result is worry, tension, stress…and fear.  

When I focus on myself, I forget that God is so much bigger.  When I fix my eyes on how things are going or how they might end up, I forget that He loves me more than I could ever imagine.  I might even start to think that He just tolerates me, at best.  It’s not that I would think He is against me, but sometimes, I can forget that He is for me.  

That, however, is far from the truth.  He is always for me.  And He loves me with an unstoppable, overwhelming, self-sacrificing, forever love.  “The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing,” (Zephaniah 3:17).

The book of Acts gives an account of a man who was born lame and is begging for money outside the temple gate.  As Peter and John approach the temple, the man asks for alms.  Peter and John look directly at the man, who is obviously not really anticipating getting anything from them, because he is not even looking at them.  “Look at us!” They say to him (Acts 3:4).  So, then, he gives them his attention, expecting to receive something.  Now that Peter has the man’s gaze, he is able to offer him something far more valuable than money.  Through the power of Jesus, Peter and John take the man’s hand, tell him to get up, and he is healed.  This man, who has never walked a day in his life, jumps up and walks, praising God.  When he shifted his focus, he was able to receive something amazing from God.  To see God work on His behalf.      

If I fix my eyes on Jesus and on the good news that nothing can separate me from His love, my expectations change.  If I focus on Jesus instead of on my situation, the result is joy and hope and peace that will carry me through anything.

God acknowledges all through His Word that things can be scary.  Life-threatening, painful, heart-wrenching.  He tells us that we will have trouble in this life, but He encourages us not to fear the things that are frightening.  He asks us to redirect our fear—to shift our focus.  We can’t control everything that happens to us, but we can choose what our response to it will be.  Instead of fixing our eyes on the “what if’s,” God wants us to fix our eyes on Him.  And this may sound harsh or backwards, because God is love, but to put our fear in the right place is actually to fear God.  

There is a Right Kind of Fear.

Over and over again, the Bible says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning.  The beginning of wisdom, the beginning of knowledge, the beginning of understanding. No wonder the enemy tempts us with fear and tries to turn our eyes towards things that are frightening.  If we fear evil instead of fearing God, we’ve lost the very foundation to truly knowing Him. 

Countless times, I’ve heard it said that fearing God is really just about a healthy respect and awe.  It’s like we’re trying to defend the Bible and make sure that people don’t think that God is actually as vastly different-from-us as He is.  But, every time that anyone in the Bible ever came close to seeing God, they fell on their faces, petrified.  Look at what Isaiah, the prophet, said when he saw God:

Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty,” (Isaiah 6:5).

We fear God by acknowledging His vastness, His greatness, His glory.  We fear God by recognizing how small we are in comparison to Him.  By being still before Him.  By remembering the great things He has done.  

We fear God when we put our trust in Him.  When we rely on Him.  When we believe that He really is everything that He says He is.  When we put our faith in the promises that He makes throughout the Bible.  When we admit how much we need Him and rest in knowing how faithful He is to meet our every need. 

We fear God by worshipping Him.  By loving Him.  By being obedient to Him.  By taking the time to really get to know Him.

And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God ask of you but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to him, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to observe the Lord’s commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good?” (Deuteronomy 10:12-13).

The fear of frightening things is the wrong kind of fear.  It’s a life waster.  I spent years making excuse after excuse for why my fear of frightening things was justified, for why my fear was natural, for why my fear was responsible.  That fear kept me from doing so many good things.  It kept me from experiencing so much peace.  

The fear of God is the right kind of fear.  It’s where true life starts.  It’s where the wrong fear subsides.  He’s worth it.  He’s worth our trust.  Worth our honor.  Worth our love.  Worth our very lives.  

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear,” (1 John 4:18). 


Fake Caution and Ugly Red Curtains.

How often do we disguise fear with nice cover-ups like “caution” or “responsibility” and make excuses for our choices because of what, deep down, we are afraid of?  Maybe it’s going out on open water.  Or flying in an airplane.  Or going to the doctor.  Or being alone.  Maybe we’re not consistent with our children because we’re afraid that the won’t like us.  Maybe it’s speaking in front of people or sharing our faith.      

I realized that my fear had the “caution” facade the day that I bought hideous red curtains for our beautiful back-of-the-house kitchen windows and asked Sean to put them up.  First of all, we loved those windows bare.  They were open and clean, and they looked out over a stream and a forest of trees.  Secondly, the only things that could really see into them were woodland creatures and birds.  I justified my decision to hang up the gaudy and unnecessary curtains by saying that I didn’t want anyone to be able to see into our house.  But in truth, I was afraid of what (or who) might be outside the windows.  I felt exposed when I couldn’t see out but someone might be able to see in.  I was sure that one day, I would walk out to the kitchen at night to fill a glass with water and someone would be staring back at me through the glass. But, based on how readily I listened to the oh-so-scary water heater coming on in the basement or how quickly I could run from the bedroom to the bathroom and back again at 2am, I know that whether the curtains were open or not, I wasn’t basing my decision to close up the windows on wise caution.  I didn’t trust that God could really take care of us even if the curtains were closed.  I thought that my “caution” would keep us safe.  And I didn't even like the curtains.  Really, I was afraid.

Responsibility and caution are both very good and very important--IF our focus is in the right place.  When I tried to hang the ugly red curtains, my focus wasn’t.  It was on my fear, and on trying to create an illusion of a safe place.  In truth, there are no places that are safer than others if we are living with our eyes focused on Jesus.  God’s will is the only safe place.  He will never leave us or forsake us.  We can trust Him.   


Fear is Real.  Our Response to Fear is a Choice.

In the sixty-six books of the Bible, there are nearly five hundred verses (give or take, depending on the translation you’re looking at) that use either the words, “fear” or “afraid.”  Between the five hundred, there are three overarching themes:
1. People should fear God
2. God’s people do not need to be/should not be afraid of things that are frightening
3. It is common for people to be afraid when they aren’t fearing God 

A clear thread throughout Scripture is that loving God, seeking God, and obeying God is the way to live without fear.  Fearing God is the answer to all of the frightening thing we face.  Fearing God (honoring Him, trusting Him, recognizing how great He is) is the way to find hope and joy and peace in the midst of frightening circumstances.

Jesus says, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world,” (John 16:33).  Jesus is the hope of the future.  I love what that a good friend of mine says about how we can move forward in life.  She says that we can truly live, “When the hope of the future is greater than the fear of the future,” (Ashley Hibbard).  

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord,” (Romans 8:38-39).


A Pretty Exhaustive List.

I love lists—they help me.  Feel free to ignore this next part if you’re not a list fan.  I’ve put a handful of the verses about “fear” in the Bible into sub-categories, to help me understand what God is asking for when He says to fear Him, and what He teaches me to do with fear.  I’ve also compiled several resources—books and teaching videos—that have been helpful to me in my journey to freedom from the wrong kind of fear.  I hope they’ll be helpful to you, too! **[italics and brackets] are mine, for explanation.


FEAR IN THE BIBLE

LOVE

Psalm 33:18  But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love..

Psalm 103:11  For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him..

Psalm 118:4  Let those who fear the Lord say: “His love endures forever.”

Psalm 139:14  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 

1 John 4:18  There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

TRUST IN GOD and RELIANCE ON GOD

Psalm 56:3-4  When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise— in God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?

Psalm 56:11  ..in God I trust and am not afraid. What can man do to me?

Psalm 118:6  The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?

Mark 5:36  Overhearing what they said, Jesus told him, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.”

Matthew 1:20  But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.

Isaiah 50:10  Who among you fears the Lord and obeys the word of his servant? Let the one who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on their God.

GOD’S COMPASSION AND MERCY

Psalm 103:13  As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him..

Psalm 145:19  He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them.

Luke 1:50  His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation.

GOD’S CLOSENESS

Psalm 25:14  The Lord confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them.

Psalm 147:11  The Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love.

Isaiah 43:1  But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

Isaiah 51:12  “I, even I, am he who comforts you. Who are you that you fear mere mortals, human beings who are but grass..

Lamentations 3:57 You came near when I called you, and you said, “Do not fear.”

Romans 8:15  For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”

Luke 12:32  “Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.

GOD IS WITH US

Genesis 26:24  That night the Lord appeared to him and said, “I am the God of your father Abraham. Do not be afraid, for I am with you…”

Deuteronomy 31:6  Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Deuteronomy 31:8  The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Joshua 1:9  Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

1 Chronicles 28:20  David also said to Solomon his son, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. 

Matthew 14:25-27  Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.  But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

John 14:27  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

GOD IS ON OUR SIDE

Exodus 14:13  Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today.

Deuteronomy 3:22  Do not be afraid of them; the Lord your God himself will fight for you.”

2 Chronicles 20:15  He said: “Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.

2 Chronicles 20:17  You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.’” 

Isaiah 41:10  So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:13  For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.

Jeremiah 32:40  I will make an everlasting covenant with them: I will never stop doing good to them, and I will inspire them to fear me, so that they will never turn away from me.

Hebrews 13:6  So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?”

HAVING AN UNDIVIDED HEART

Psalm 86:11  Teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.

Jeremiah 32:39  I will give them singleness of heart and action, so that they will always fear me and that all will then go well for them and for their children after them.

GOD’S PROVISION AND PROTECTION

Deuteronomy 3:22  You shall not fear them, for it is the Lord your God who fights for you.

Psalm 34:9  Fear the Lord, you his holy people, for those who fear him lack nothing.

Genesis 50:21  So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.”

Psalm 115:11  You who fear him, trust in the Lord— he is their help and shield.

Proverbs 9:10  The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.

Psalm 115:13  He will bless those who fear the Lord— small and great alike.

Genesis 15:1  After this, the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision: “Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward.”

GOD’S SALVATION

1 Samuel 12:20  [In response to Saul when he had sinned against God] “Do not be afraid,” Samuel replied. “You have done all this evil; yet do not turn away from the Lord, but serve the Lord with all your heart.”

Isaiah 12:2  Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord himself, is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation.”

Proverbs 16:6  Through love and faithfulness sin is atoned for; through the fear of the Lord evil is avoided.

Hebrews 2:14-16  He [Jesus] too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might break the power of him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil—and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death.

WISDOM AND KNOWING GOD THROUGH THE FEAR OF HIM

Proverbs 1:7  The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Proverbs 1:29  ..since they hated knowledge and did not choose to fear the Lord.

Proverbs 1:33  ..but whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm.”

Isaiah 11:2  The Spirit of the Lord will rest on him— the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding, the Spirit of counsel and of might, the Spirit of the knowledge and fear of the Lord

Proverbs 2:5  [When you seek God’s wisdom and understanding] ..then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.

Proverbs 3:24   [When you seek God’s wisdom and understanding] When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.

Daniel 10:12  Then he continued, “Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them.

Isaiah 33:6  He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the Lord is the key to this treasure.

GOD IS ABOVE ALL

Deuteronomy 6:13  Fear the Lord your God, serve him only

Psalm 96:4  For great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; he is to be feared above all gods.

Jeremiah 10:7  Who should not fear you, King of the nations? This is your due. Among all the wise leaders of the nations and in all their kingdoms, there is no one like you.

FEAR GOD (REVERENCE and RECOGNIZING THE GREATNESS, POWER, GLORY, AND HOLINESS OF GOD)

Genesis 28:17  He was afraid and said, “How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God; this is the gate of heaven.”

Judges 6:23  [When Gideon saw the angel of the Lord] But the Lord said to him, “Peace! Do not be afraid. You are not going to die.”

Psalm 64:9  All people will fear; they will proclaim the works of God and ponder what he has done.

Psalm 33:8  Let all the earth fear the Lord; let all the people of the world revere him.

Proverbs 22:4  Humility is the fear of the Lord; its wages are riches and honor and life. 

Psalm 76:7a   You alone are to be feared..

Psalm 119:120  My flesh trembles in fear of you; I stand in awe of your laws.

Luke 8:25  “Where is your faith?” he asked his disciples. In fear and amazement they asked one another, “Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him.”

Philippians 2:12  Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling,

Hebrews 12:21  The sight was so terrifying that Moses said, “I am trembling with fear.”

Revelation 14:7  He said in a loud voice, “Fear God and give him glory, because the hour of his judgment has come. Worship him who made the heavens, the earth, the sea and the springs of water.”

Revelation 15:4  Who will not fear you, Lord, and bring glory to your name? For you alone are holy. All nations will come and worship before you, for your righteous acts have been revealed.”

OBEDIENCE TO GOD IS FOR OUR OWN GOOD

Deuteronomy 5:29  Oh, that their hearts would be inclined to fear me and keep all my commands always, so that it might go well with them and their children forever!

Deuteronomy 10:12-22 [v. 12-13]  “And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God ask of you but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to him, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to observe the Lord’s commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good?”

Psalm 112:1  Praise the Lord. Blessed are those who fear the Lord, who find great delight in his commands.

Psalm 128:1 Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in obedience to him.

Ecclesiastes 12:13  Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind.

Isaiah 8:13  The Lord Almighty is the one you are to regard as holy, he is the one you are to fear, he is the one you are to dread.

Exodus 20:20  Moses said to the people, “Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning.”

1 Chronicles 22:13  Then you will have success if you are careful to observe the decrees and laws that the Lord gave Moses for Israel. Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged.

GOD GIVES US BOLDNESS TO FEARLESSLY MAKE HIM KNOWN 

Ephesians 6:19  Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel..

Acts 18:9  One night the Lord spoke to Paul in a vision: “Do not be afraid; keep on speaking, do not be silent.

FEARING GOD BY DOING GOOD AND SHUNNING EVIL

1 Samuel 12:24  But be sure to fear the Lord and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you.

Proverbs 8:13  To fear the Lord is to hate evil;

Job 1:1  [T]here lived a man whose name was Job. This man was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil.

Proverbs 3:7  Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.

Acts 10:2  He and all his family were devout and God-fearing; he gave generously to those in need 
and prayed to God regularly.

GOD SAYS WE DO NOT NEED TO FEAR THE THINGS THAT ARE FRIGHTENING

Deuteronomy 1:29 Then I said to you, “Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them.

Psalm 27:1 The Lord is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid?

Psalm 27:3  Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident.

Psalm 46:2  Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea..

Psalm 49:5  Why should I fear when evil days come, when wicked deceivers surround me..

Psalm 55:5, 23  Fear and trembling have beset me; horror has overwhelmed me . . . But as for me, I trust in you.

Psalm 91:5  You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day..

Proverbs 3:25 Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked..

Proverbs 29:25  Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.

Isaiah 8:12  “Do not call conspiracy everything this people calls a conspiracy; do not fear what they fear, and do not dread it.

Isaiah 35:4  ..say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you.”

Isaiah 51:7  “Hear me, you who know what is right, you people who have taken my instruction to heart: Do not fear the reproach of mere mortals or be terrified by their insults.

Jeremiah 1:8  Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the Lord.

Jeremiah 51:46  Do not lose heart or be afraid when rumors are heard in the land; one rumor comes this year, another the next, rumors of violence in the land and of ruler against ruler.

Ezekiel 2:6  And you, son of man, do not be afraid of them or their words. Do not be afraid, though briers and thorns are all around you and you live among scorpions. Do not be afraid of what they say or be terrified by them, though they are a rebellious people.

Matthew 8:26  He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.

Matthew 10:26  “So do not be afraid of them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known.

Luke 12:4  “I tell you, my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more.

Luke 12:4-6  “I tell you, my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more. But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear him who, after your body has been killed, has authority to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him. Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God.”

1 Peter 3:14  But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened.”

1 Peter 3:6  …like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Revelation 2:10  Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer. I tell you, the devil will put some of you in prison to test you, and you will suffer persecution for ten days. Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you life as your victor’s crown.

WHAT FEAR LOOKS LIKE WHEN PEOPLE ARE FACED WITH THE PRESENCE OF GOD or THE ANGEL OF THE LORD

Daniel 10:19  “Do not be afraid, you who are highly esteemed,” he said. “Peace! Be strong now; be strong.” When he spoke to me, I was strengthened and said, “Speak, my lord, since you have given me strength.”

Matthew 17:7  But Jesus came and touched them. “Get up,” he said. “Don’t be afraid.”

Matthew 28:4  The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.

Matthew 28:5  The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified.

Matthew 28:8  So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples.

Mark 6:50  ..because they all saw him and were terrified. Immediately he spoke to them and said, “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

Luke 1:13  But the angel said to him: “Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to call him John.

Luke 2:10  But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.

Luke 1:30  But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God.

John 6:20  But he said to them, “It is I; don’t be afraid.”

Revelation 1:17  When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last.



Some Additional Resources That Have Been Helpful to Me

Books

1.  The Hiding Place (Cori Ten Boom)

2.  Running Scared: Fear, Worry, and the God of Rest (Edward T. Welch)

Videos

Nate Miller gave me a line in this incredible message that I’ll never forget:  “Replace every ‘what if’ with an ‘even if.’”  (Excerpt: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyi8_iDNckg)

2.  “A Final Word on Suffering” (David Whiting): http://www.northridgerochester.com/messages/1-peter/a-final-word-on-suffering/
From an incredible series on the book of 1 Peter, David Whiting talks here about how the Bible says that we shouldn’t be surprised when we suffer in this world, and what our response to suffering should be.  

3.  “The Hopes and Fears of All the Years are Met in Thee Tonight” (David Whiting):  http://www.northridgerochester.com/messages/hopes-fears/the-hopes-and-fears-of-all-the-years-are-met-in-thee-tonight/
David Whiting teaches about how the opposite of fear isn’t courage; it’s love.  

4.  “Basic: Fear God” (Francis Chan): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPxsaRnd_yU
Francis Chan explains what it really means to Fear God.


Saturday, February 21, 2015

How Living in Fear Robs Us of Life (Part 2 of 3)

(Part 2 of 3)

Previously, I shared about how I was freed from a lifetime of nightmares by praising Jesus.  Instead of trying to take control of the fear.  Instead of trying to be brave.  

But, even without the nightmares, I was still limping along, carrying fear on my back like it was a wounded friend that needed me.   

I constantly worried about what terrible things might happen to me and my family.  I feared the evil that was in the world and I wasted most of my thoughts throughout the day dwelling on things that I had no control over.  I was filled with anxiety about what people were thinking and about what I needed to get done and about what I couldn’t keep up with.  I Googled health symptoms all the time.  I couldn’t read the news or stand near windows at night.  I created scenarios in my mind of awful things that might happen.  I kept my ears open, listening for frightening sounds.  I yanked back the shower curtain every time I went into the bathroom, certain that someone was hiding behind it (I’m not sure what I thought I was going to do if someone was actually there…).  

In February of 2012, I was reminded of something that seemed so simple, but it changed everything.

See, I met Jesus when I was a little girl.  I learned that God was love, and I also learned that there was a gulf between me and God that I could never cross on my own.  No matter how good I was.  No matter what I did.  I learned that God was perfect and that I was a broken, selfish, missing-the-mark sinner.  I couldn’t ever reach Him because of my sin, and the price I would have to pay because of my sin was death—eternal separation from Him.  I learned that God loved me and the whole world so much that He wanted to rescue us from our sin and the death that we deserved.  He sent His only Son, Jesus, to live a perfect life and then suffer and die for my sin and the sin of the world.  He rose back to life to show that He had defeated sin and death.  And I believed it.  I asked Him to forgive my sins and to be the leader of my life, and I knew that because He was my rescue, I would get to spend eternity with Him in heaven.  I knew that I didn’t do anything to earn it, but He loved me and wanted me anyway.  I knew that His promises for me were love and hope and joy and peace.  I knew that He was working out all things for good.  I knew that I could trust Him through everything and that nothing could separate me from His love.

Somehow, though, I didn’t live like I really believed all of that.  I wanted to feel safe.  I wanted to be in control of my life.  I thought that I was being responsible by being afraid.  I thought I was being extra cautious.  I wasn’t taking unnecessary risks.  I was ready in case something bad happened.  My thoughts were on my fear, not on who God is.  I didn’t live with hope in the beautiful nothing-can-take-it-away-from-me-no-matter-what eternity He had secured for me.  My trust was in my fear, and I was wasting so much of my life in it.    

Then, one day, I sat with my sister, grasping for help.  She reminded me of forgiveness.  It all started with forgiveness.  Jesus saved me from myself when He forgave me of my going-my-own-way.  My life began when God offered me the forgiveness that would give me a new life in Him.  My life started when I acknowledged that I needed to be forgiven and gave myself to Jesus.    

I was helpless without him.  Dead, even.  I couldn’t save myself.

Now, here I was, decades later, buried beneath murky layers of this darkness that I just couldn’t shake.  Acting like I should somehow be able to calculate my own way out.  I had forgotten about forgiveness.  It was forgiveness that was holding me back.  It was forgiveness that could break through the fear.

I had taken Jesus’ forgiveness for granted.  I needed to ask for forgiveness again:  for trusting in fear instead of trusting in Him.  I confessed that I had been living for an idea of safety instead of living for God to be glorified, no matter what that looked like.  And He forgave me.  I confessed that I had spent my focus on fear instead of on worshipping God.  And He forgave me.  I forgave the people in my life who had unknowingly or knowingly helped me learn how to be afraid.  I forgave people who I had never held anything against in my mind or in my heart—people who I deeply love and admire—because, I realized that day, they had been influences in the layers of fear that I developed.  I needed to forgive them.  And I did it all out loud.  

I’ve heard, many times, the phrase, “the devil got inside my head.”  And here’s the truth:  the Bible says that it is God who searches the minds and hearts of people (1 Chronicles 28:9).  The enemy, Satan, can whisper in our ears, but he can’t hear inside our heads.  So, when we confess and forgive out loud, instead of just in the quiet of our hearts, the enemy hears it, and he knows that, whatever it is, we have surrendered it to God.  He knows that he doesn’t have that hold on us anymore.    

In the very moment that I confessed that I had trusted fear instead of God and He forgave me, in the very moment that I forgave the people who had influenced me in my fear, God broke through with His power and love and I felt physical peace and freedom come over me.  I felt God’s mercy and His healing.  I knew He had delivered me.  He freed me from the fear that had chased after me for so long.  

I was finally able to believe God’s word when He says, “So do not fear, for I am with you,” (Isaiah 41:10).  I was finally able to say and mean, “The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear?  The Lord is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?” (Psalm 27:1).  

I went home and stood by a window, in the dark, and just stared at the stars.  Marveling at how beautiful they were.  Amazed that I had gone so long without being able to look out into the night.  In awe of my loving, healing, forgiving God.  And I haven’t been the same since.


As I began to step out in glorious freedom from fear, I began to study it—to study what God really says about fear in the Bible.  For so much of my life, I was living in the wrong kind of fear.  The terrible, suffocating, thought-consuming, life-wasting kind.  I’ve learned that is a right kind of fear.  A good kind of fear.   Fear that's worth living in…


(Continued in “How Living in Fear Robs Us of Life: Part 3”).

Friday, February 20, 2015

How Living in Fear Robs Us of Life (Part 1 of 3)

(Part 1 of 3)

This is not the first time that I’ve lost my legs from underneath me.  In fact, I spent more than two decades of my life paralyzed. 

By fear.

It began when I was a little girl.  Nightmares, fear of the dark, and anxiety about the boys who chased the girls on the playground at school.  

By the time I was in high school and college, I was nauseated by every first day of school and by the thought of getting less than an “A” on an assignment and by the idea of singing in front of a soul.  I wouldn’t swim near pool filters because of a documentary I saw ages before about people getting suctioned against them.  I was crippled by even the thought of nighttime, whether I was alone or in company.  My parents were in the next room.  My sister was in the next bed.  But I felt like I was completely alone and exposed.  I laid awake, imagining elaborate scenarios of fires and attackers.  I hated the dark.  I hated windows and stairwells.  I hated silence, but I hated every little sound that creaked around me, too. 

When I got married and started having kids, the fear multiplied.  The nightmares worsened.   I searched Google for every uncomfortable symptom that I felt.  I wouldn't read the news about what was going on in the world.  I couldn’t walk in the safety of my small-town neighborhood with my baby in a stroller without chills rising from my wrists to my neck and vivid pictures of all of the possible horrible events that might take place around me.  If my husband had a meeting that ran late at night, I was certain that something terrible had happened to him and was about to happen to me, too.  I would sit on the floor of my baby’s bedroom as she slept, with my phone and my keys in my hand, waiting for a call that my husband was dead, listening for sounds that weren’t there, preparing to grab my child and climb out the window with her to escape whatever danger I was sure was on its way to us. 

I longed for the fear to go away.  

I knew Jesus.  I memorized verses about trusting God.  “The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear?” (Psalm 27:1).  I asked people to pray with me, pray for me, pray over me.  I had been taught methods for casting out fear and the words to say to make the bad things go away.  I tried them all.  For years.  And I was still afraid. 

I was angry that I couldn’t fix my problem.  I was frustrated that it wouldn’t go away.  I wondered where my faith was and why God wouldn’t just release me from the fear.  I felt helpless.  

And then, something began to shift.  

I realized that I had been using Jesus like a formula.  I didn’t really trust Him.  I was trying to make the darkness go away in my own power, by just saying Jesus’ name.  There is an account in Acts 19 of seven men who were trying to cast out demons “in the name of Jesus whom Paul preaches.”  One of the demons looked at them and said, “Jesus I know, and I know about Paul, but who are you?”  (v. 15)  Then, the demons proceeded to beat them and leave them naked and bleeding.  These men were trying to use Jesus’ name like a formula.  They didn’t really believe in what He could do.  And they certainly didn’t believe that His plans—whatever they looked like—truly were the best ones.  

As it turned out, neither either did I.  

My pastor suggested that I try something else in my dreams, when I was confronted by frightening things.  He reminded me that there’s nothing that evil hates more than God being praised.  He told me to try, instead of just using my previous methods, to sing to Jesus.

Sure enough, that night, I had a terrible dream.  Before I could be overpowered, right there in the dream, I began to sing to Jesus, for Jesus, about Jesus.  To praise Him.  To thank Him.  To love Him.  

And I woke up.  Free.  It’s been four years.  And I haven’t had one of those nightmares since.  

I could sleep in peace, worshipping my Savior.  “On my bed I remember You; I think of You through the watches of the night.  Because You are my help, I sing in the shadow of Your wings.  My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me,” (Psalm 63:7-8).  

But, when the nightmares when away, the fear in the daytime got worse.  Much worse.  So much worse that I was afraid of the idea of actually being freed from it, because I imagined that it would just come back worse than it had been before.  The enemy was taunting me.  

Again, I got frustrated.  I was angry with myself for not taking God at His word that I didn’t need to be afraid.   If I believe that God is for me, not against me, then why am I living like He’s not on my side?  Why am I living in fear?  Do I believe that God means it when He says, “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine,” (Isaiah 43:1)?  Do I believe that I love Him and that He loves me when He says, “There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear,” (I John 4:18)?

Then, I was reminded of something that seemed so simple, but it changed everything… 


(Continued in “How Living in Fear Robs Us of Life: Part 2”).

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Context (It Is Well)

Context.

I'm baffled by the way it can change everything.  We've taken on the challenge, in the past few years, of trying to help our little girls understand this phenomenon.  It's always an interesting task in the moment, to say the least.  Like the time one of them wanted to wear her bathing suit to the grocery store.  In the peak of winter.  Or when one of them spilled water on her clothes at a church meeting and immediately decided to take the wet articles off.  All of them.  And screamed at the top of her lungs when I tried to get her to put them back on.

It's even more intriguing to me, though, that the same words can have such different meanings from one context to another.  You know--when you're in a conversation with someone and another person walks in half-way through.  The second person missed the beginning, so what you're saying now sounds totally inappropriate.  

And then, there's the Bible.  The Word of God, coming to life on each page.  In high school, at a week-long cheerleading camp, I remember sitting in the hallway before bed, reading my Bible, when my coach asked me about it.    "Haven't you read it enough times?" She inquired with a smile.  I replied, "It's the same words, but God can say something completely different to me every time I read them.  I'll never get enough."  

There are certain verses that I've read hundreds of times, but God keeps unveiling more about Himself as the context of my life changes.  Take Isaiah 40:29-31, for example:  "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

During the years I spent cheering, Isaiah 40 inspired me to hold my stunt position in the air and to throw my tumbling passes.  When I had newborn babies and rarely slept, God used it to keep me going through the long nights.  When I lost my ability to walk in October, God used these same words to give me fresh hope and strength like I never knew I could have, or would even need to have.

Isaiah 40: Hope to endure the months when I couldn't snuggle with my kids, like I finally get to again.
Isaiah 40: Strength to make it through all of the weeks of weakness to days like yesterday, when, after three days on my newest CRPS treatment, I got to do this!

The same words.  The same truth.  Different contexts.  Different application.

The Psalms are a great place to see the same words being able to apply unchanging truth in unique ways to different people in their own individual contexts.

David wrote Psalm 57 when he was hiding in a cave, being hotly pursued by his enemy, Saul.  This song is David's cry for God to see him in his distress and have mercy on him.  It is a declaration of the Sovereignty and fulfilled purposes of God, of His unending love and faithfulness.  It is a song of praise in the midst of a storm.

I love the way that David alternates between thoughts about the dreadful situation he's in and thoughts about how loving and faithful God is.  He's completely honest about his trial--he doesn't pretend that it's not happening or make light of the very real danger that he is in.  In the very next breath, he's worshipping God.

David's confidence in God is beautiful.  We can have the same kind of confidence in the very same God, who is still our refuge today.  And maybe we're not on the run from a king who is trying to kill us, but we can pray the very same Psalm in whatever season of life we are running through.  The same God who inspired the words thousands of years ago speaks the same truth into us right where we are now.

The same truth.  Different context.

Because the Psalms express so much emotion and they have a particular way of resonating with whatever I'm going through, I love to pray through them as they are written and then let my present situation sink into them.  So, my paraphrased-for-my-present-situation Psalm 57 might end up sounding something like this:

God, I need Your mercy.  You are my safe place.  
I will hide in You until the waves that are crashing over me subside.  
I cry out to You, God.  You know all of the details of what I'm going through; 
You have a purpose for me in this and You will fulfill it--none of this is in vain.  
You send me help from Heaven; You are for me, not against me.  
You send me Your love and Your faithfulness.  
The enemy that rages against me wants to destroy me.  
Be lifted high, God.  You are Lord over everything; let the whole world see it.  
My enemy is after me, hunting me down; I know that they won't win.
I trust in You, I rest in You; I will worship you from the depths of my soul.  
I will praise You from the rooftops; I will join with Your people from far and wide to praise You.  Your love reaches to the heavens; Your faithfulness reaches to the skies.  
Be lifted High, God--above the heavens.  Let Your glory fill the whole earth.

So, even when a chronic pain disorder is running me down, God is my strength.  Even if it feels like all of the odds are against me, God is on my side, and He is good.  No matter what the context, His words are true.  And because of His love and faithfulness, no matter what the context, I can say, "It is well."  No matter what the context, I will praise Him.

It is well:  I walked all day on Friday.  And most of yesterday.
It is well:  And I was still on my feet at the end of today!

"Through it all, through it all, my eyes are on You.  Through it all, through it all, it is well," (It Is Well, Kristene DiMarco & Bethel Music).



"But as for me, I will always have hope;  I will praise You more and more.  My mouth will tell of Your righteousness, of Your salvation all day long, though I know not its measure," (Psalm 71:14-15).    

Saturday, February 14, 2015

A glorious reminder


"The Lord your God is with you,
He is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing."

A beautiful reminder, on a holiday when we celebrate love, of the One who loves us more than anyone ever could.  

"We love because He first loved us," (1 John 4:19). 

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Pain is Invisible. My Mess is Not.

It begins with the ringing of the doorbell.  The thing that tops the list of the most horrifying sounds in the world to a mother with sleeping children, right next to the sound of something alive in the closet and smoke alarms.

When I’m through making my best effort to tip-toe (on crutches) to the door, he helps himself to a glance over my shoulder at the thing that tops the list of the most horrifying sights in the world to a self-admitted (but recovering) clean-a-holic:  my real, live, lived-in mess.  

[Half-folded laundry, half-read books, and a left-over birthday balloon.]

I am supposed to be having a nerve block right now.  The one that I have waited weeks for, and am very much needing.  He doesn’t know that, though, because here I am, answering the door.  My poor child with the stomach bug, whose care was much more important to me than that nerve block, will be coming out here momentarily, because she heard the doorbell and now she’s awake.  

The other two of my children will soon be waking from their naps, as well, needing snacks and bottles, and eagerly re-building whatever use-every-piece-of-furniture-and-every-article-of-clothing-from-the-closets “fort” I had attempted to clean up during the past two hours.  These last few minutes of nap time are extremely precious.  The last thing I want to be doing is attempting to convince my friendly door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman that I do not, in fact, want to spend twenty-two hundred dollars on a machine with twenty-two hundred uses.  My money would be much better spent elsewhere.  Like on a maid.  

He eyes my used-to-be white area rug and with pity in his eye (or good salesmanship), he offers to clean the carpet for free.  A no-strings-attached demo of the amazing $2200 vacuum cleaner.  I shrug my shoulders.  I’ve already told him that I’m not buying anything, and he still wants to clean my carpet.  Sounds like a pretty decent deal to me.

But then, he says it.  And I begin to deflate.  “You have a really hard time keepin’ up with the cleaning, dontcha?”

If you only knew, Mr. Vacuum Cleaner Salesman.  If you only knew.  

Pain is invisible.  My mess is not.  

I happen to love cleaning.  With a slightly creepy and obsessive Pinesol-is-one-of-my-favorite-scents and I-know-that-pouring-coffee-over-your-hands-after-cleaning-a-drain-will-neutralize-the-slippery-cleaning-solution-base kind of love.  But, everything in my life changed with a four-letter diagnosis.  

[We're also in the middle of packing the house up to move]

I thought I was doing a pretty good job up until this moment.  I had the laundry half-folded, part of dinner was neatly tucked into the crockpot, most of the dishes from lunch were taken care of, and I’d only had to re-heat my cup of coffee four times before I finally got to start drinking it.  On a typical day, that cup of coffee sits in the microwave for at least three hours before I get to it.   

Adding insult to injury, he starts sucking dirt out of all of my furniture and laying it out on glaring filters, in case I need another reminder that I can’t keep up.  Pain is invisible.  My mess is most definitely not.  

[Yuck.]

To top it all off, he decides that it will be a fun game to produce a tower of toxic, carpet cleaner bubbles to entertain my children.  Bubbles, to kids, toxic or not, are a hands-on game.  Which means that I get to pick up the “Do not pass GO.  Do not collect $200.  Give three pre-dinner baths in the next five minutes” card.

[Who knew that a vacuum cleaner could spray bubbles?]

Somehow, even though he is clearly less than satisfied that I am much more than satisfied with my current vacuum cleaner, I am still able to usher him out the door.  With a used-to-be white area rug that’s not even that much whiter for the ninety minutes that are now behind me.  A lingering reminder that I can’t keep up with what I once could.  Pain is invisible.  My mess is not.  

And, it’s ok.  

Not because “I’ll get over it,” or because “Someone else is probably worse off than me.”  

No.  

It’s ok because Jesus meets me right here—in the middle of my mess.  He doesn’t measure what is hard for me against what is hard for someone else.  And, no matter what anyone else may see, my pain is not invisible to Him.  He sees it, He understands it, and He wants to hold me and help me through it.       

The only scale that my pain and my mess truly get weighed on is the one that measures eternity:  the cross, where Jesus took on our pain and died for our mess (Isaiah 53:4; and now, in case there’s any confusion, we’re talking about sin mess, falling short of perfection mess, we are all full of it and Jesus still loved us enough to die for us mess, not I-was-desperate-for-more-light-in-the-living-room-so-I-chose-white-in-a-colorful-world carpet mess).  

He is “the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).  He doesn’t tell us to get over all of our troubles.  He has compassion on us in them, and He comforts us all the way through them.  It matters to Him—what we are going through.  He comes to us, to where we are, right in the midst of our pain.  He strengthens us and gives us courage for the journey.  He takes on our mess and He washes us clean.  And, He doesn’t charge us $2200.    


Two songs that I've been loving right now: "How Can It Be" and "Come As You Are."


The Lord will surely comfort [His people] and will look with compassion on all [their] ruins; He will make [their] deserts like Eden, [their] wastelands like the garden of the Lord.  Joy and gladness will be found in [them], thanksgiving and the sound of singing (paraphrase from Isaiah 51:3).