Laying Down Expectations

We love going out to find our Christmas tree each year.  We get immersed in the tradition, the adventure, the memories, and, of course--the hot cider and homemade doughnuts.  I knew that I wouldn't be able to be a part of the actual hunt through the farm to find the perfect tree this year.  I was ok with it--I had already laid down my expectations, given the circumstances.  I figured that I'd just wait in the shop with Jack while Sean took the girls out.  

Sean, however, was not content with that option.  Weeks before, he apparently began conniving.  Now, I wasn't present in said conniving, but I imagine that his first thought was to drag three kids and a wife through the woods on a large sled with his beastly man-strength (my hero!!).  The tight turns required in the limited space between trees may have aided in ruling that idea out (he wouldn't want to lose a passenger around every bend), not to mention the distinct lack of snow.  Instead of getting a sled, he contacted Stokoe Farms and told them our situation.  They were overjoyed to be able to help us!  So, when it came time to go on our tree hunt, Sean had a surprise for me:  Stokoe Farms had a Bennett-family-sized RTV waiting for us, and they drove us all around the farm to find our perfect tree.  It was such a gift!

A quick flashback to the day before we went out:  we positioned the furniture in our living-room-turned-first-floor-bedroom in such a way that we would be able to neatly tuck a nice skinny tree into the corner and still have some semblance of a room left over.  

At the tree farm, riding along on our chariot-of-sorts, Sean and I spotted several great trees that were just the right size for that pre-arranged corner.  As it turns out, our firstborn had something a bit different in mind.  Every time that we pointed out a tree that caught our eyes, Ava would matter-of-factly turn it down.  

After a good deal of exploring, Ava ran up ahead.  The heavens opened and a beam of light descended over one particular evergreen (ok, it may not have been quite like that, but to see her response, one could easily have assumed)...and...she saw it:  the largest, fullest, tallest tree that she could find.  Possibly the largest, fullest, tallest tree on the farm.  Of course, she deemed it perfect.  Nothing else would do--Ava's heart was now set on that tree.  Sean and I both pictured the corner of the room where the tree was "supposed" to go.  We looked at Ava.  We pictured it again.  We looked at Ava.  And in her sweet and determined, peaceful and contented eyes, we could see how much she wanted the tree.  And what is a great family adventure without children getting to learn, in some measure, what it means to seek, to assess, to find, to approve, and to be approved?  

So, we cut it down.  The largest, fullest, tallest tree.  And we had the staff cut a great deal off of the bottom to temper its enormity.  And we cut several more branches from the bottom and the top when we got it home.  And it is definitely not positioned in the pre-arranged little corner.  But it's perfect.  And Ava is so proud.   

Ava's tree--our family tree that wasn't at all what we had planned on--found its new home at the very center of our living-room-turned-first-floor-bedroom.  It's the only place it would fit--it rests against the ceiling and it spreads its way through the room.  It's absolutely beautiful, and, because it's at the center, its light shines through the whole main area of the house.  

Our tree, this year, serves as a great metaphor for us--it reminds us of the lovely surprises God gives us when we lay down our expectations and well-suited images of what things should be like.  His love is the highest, deepest, widest, longest love there is.  He fills us and shines His light out of us.  If we could pre-arrange all of our circumstances, we, most likely, wouldn't choose a lot of the trials we walk in.  But then, we would actually miss out, because God has incredible, beautiful, purposeful things in mind that are far beyond what we can see when we make our own plans.  So, down with my expectations.  God's way is so much better!  

We emptied our box of ornaments and hung each one on the tree as a reminder of seasons past.  Each year, we get a new ornament in expectation of the new seasons.  The one that I picked out last year, in God's perfect timing, preparing me for this very season, was JOY.    

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.  Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."  (Ephesians 3:16-21)