Grin and Bear It

Part Two of the "Why Suffering?" story is still to come, but it had to take a back seat for the sake of a joy-filled, wonderfully encouraging, dreary-weather day.  

It rained today. December rain--the kind that slowly chips away at the snow and only has that edge of chilly.  Coats are a must, but you're able to be outside for a while without mittens before the temperature starts to hit you.  And, I'll take it--it's winter weather that's bearable.  

I walked today.  Sometimes with one crutch, mostly on my own.  And I had the incredible blessing of being able to take my kids outside to splash in the puddles.  They've been begging me to take them outside for so long, and, while I couldn't run around with them, I got to watch them run around.  It was beautiful.  

For this week and part of last, I've been able to be up and around for a very long while--until my nerves have chipped away at enough of my resistance that I can't stand anything touching my skin.  I push and push until my brain tells my leg to quit and then my muscles go limp and my foot turns cold and and my toes become numb.  But, it's wonderful, because on so many days now, it's pain that is bearable.  I cannot begin to express how amazing that feels.

Someone, somewhere, coined the phrase, "grin and bear it," and I'm loving that one, because I've found that the grin is sometimes what makes it possible to bear the tough stuff.  Today, I grinned my way through the pain and chose joy out in the drizzly winter rain with my three gorgeous little ones, soaked from the toes to knees (convenient for me, at least, because I'm already cold from my toes to my knees).  Once we were back inside, we sipped hot chocolate and thanked God for the incredible progress on our journey to find a new normal.  

The kids and I got to spend the entire day together, unassisted, and it was a great success!  I got to hold and snuggle little ones, change diapers, make peanut butter sandwiches, break up fights over toys, clean Cheerios off of floors, set the girls up with craft projects, get Jack out of his crib, and hold him the whole time he drank his bottle.  I was even able to put all three of them to bed tonight because Sean was working late, and I had the strength, still, at the end of it all, to sing to them.  It might sound crazy to be excited about some of the most seemingly menial tasks, but most of this is new for me since the CRPS began, and I'm overjoyed. 

Tomorrow morning (Wednesday), I am getting the first of a series of nerve blocks.  For this procedure, the doctors locate the nerves that are causing problems through x-Ray, and inject a type of anesthetic directly into the nerves through my spine.  If it works, it allows for movement and function with significantly diminished pain.  This is a very important step, because it has the potential of making it possible for me to take a whole lot more steps.  

We are so thankful for your continued prayers and love and help and support!  We are so blessed.